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Dear Panel, If you are in love with three guys and you don't know which is the best for you ( your true love), how do you choose? I have tried everything! Please help me. I'm desperate, and it's driving me crazy! – Shy of Humiliation Female, age 13, Australia |
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3 guys at 13?? You're right, you are desperate! |
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Go out with all 3 and see which is best for you. |
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The only thing to do is give it time – ultimately you won't be in love with three, but one. It might not really happen to you for another 10-15 years, so be patient. |
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Dear Panel, I am a girl, nearly fifteen. My name is Kia. I was recently diagnosed with clinical depression. The guy I love, well, I'll call him
Ryan. I've known him for about six months, and we've been in love
for three months. We have never met each other besides online. Recently, I found out that an old crush now likes me. I like him too. We're friends in real life. After about a week of knowing that this guy likes me, I've started to love him. But I still love Ryan more. I wrote to Ryan telling him all that had happened, because I'm a very open person and I don't enjoy keeping secrets. I was confused for a long time about if it was right to love both of them. Now I'm convinced that it's fine. IS it all right for me to love two guys at once, if I'm perfectly honest about it? – Kia Female, age 14, USA |
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At your age, sure. Especially since one isn't even "real" since you've never met. As time goes on, you'll learn more about what love is. |
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Don't trust anyone you don't know personally! Go with your real life crush. Stay away from the online guy. |
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Dear Panel, There is a girl that I'm in love with. I am 24 SWM, and she is 26. She has been with 8 guys total.I'm still a virgin. Her past sexual history intimidates me. Will she compare me to all these other men? And if so, what if I'm not "good" enough? Is this an average amount of experience for a person of that age? Help please. – SMR Male, age 24, USA |
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Yes. Oh well. Yeah, YOU'RE below average.
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Did you know that obsessive worrying makes women reconsider why they are with a man? Confidence, man, confidence! Get some or at least pretend to have it in her presence! |
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If she compares you, you'll just have to make good. At 24, that kind of competition I could handle. |
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Dear Panel, I am a lesbian. The other person is my friend Beth! Whenever Beth and I go out for a night on the town, we end up making out. Beth tells me she loves me and she's confused. I think I'm in love with her! But we never talk about after we both act like it didn't happen. Plus she has a boyfriend who is a good friend and I feel so gulity. What should I do? – Brenda Female, age 24, Massachusetts |
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Either include everyone in the act, or find someone a little more free to be in a relationship. |
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Keep acting like it doesn't happen. |
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Guilt + Confused Friend = Bad Choice. Stop now and find someone comfortable with your and her sexuality! |
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Have a threesome! |
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Dear Panel, I'm 13 years old and my boyfriend is 16 years old. He claims that he is on the verge of loving me. I think I am on the verge of loving him too, but I don't know if he's cheating on me. What do you think the possiblities of that would be? He's really nice and he has had a crush on me for about 2 years now. I need answers desperately. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!! – Johanna Female, age 13, USA |
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Whoa there, Nelly. Back up from the verge, and practice liking and trusting him as a friend before all that lovey dovey desperate heavy stuff. |
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Dear Panel, I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. He says he doesn't want a serious relationship and doesn't want to fall in love, but our relationship is basically serious we are only with each other. However, he was in a not-so-great relationship for three years and has a kid now. This relationship has made him think that love is only bullshit and a waste of time. Is there a chance I can change his mind and he is just scared? Or should I take a hint that he doesn't want to be with me and move on? I want to give him time, but will I just be wasting time? – Confused Female, age 21, USA |
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You're half right. Love is only bullshit and a waste of time with him. |
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Dear Panel, Does a boy want you to ring him up if he says "talk to you soon then" ? – Em Hig Female, age 14, Wales |
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No. Here in the States, it probably just means he wouldn't mind if you call. |
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Not necessarily. It's a "throw-away line" like "see ya later" or "how are you" or "I love you". |
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Hell no. |
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Yes. |
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In like, 5 days... |
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Dear Panel, I was in a relationship with a man for 5 years who was emotionally abusive and controlling. He also would get very angry and chase cars that cut him off, yell at waiters, store clerks etc.. And he would get off on his anger. I've been watching my new boyfriend closely for red flags. We've been together a month and yesterday we were lost, late, tired and in a hurry. He stopped to ask for directions, but when he asked the garage attendant for help the man tried but obviously did not speak English very well. My boyfriend was snippy with him and said "Nevermind, you don't even understand what I'm saying," in a harsh tone. Then got in the car and called him a moron. I thought "Oh no, he is going to be like the last one", but I can't tell if this is baggage and I'm overreacting. I feel like I don't know what acceptable behavior is? Any thoughts? – Afraid of Anger Female, age 32, USA |
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Tell your boyfriend that he acted very superciliously towards someone who tried to help him. If he doesn't beat you up, he either didn't understand your comment, or he passed the red flag test. |
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You're overreacting. We all get angry and frustrated, and we all call people names, or think about it. You know what controlling and abusive is. If this isn't that, then it's normal. Don't you ever get ticked off? |
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I wouldn't let it bother me unless it became habitual. Don't "live" in a past relationship or you will be doomed to repeat it. |
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Dear Panel, I am 17 and dating a 15-year-old. We are from Louisiana. Her mom and dad are separated and she lives with her mom. Her mom has no problem with us dating and would never press charges against me. I was wondering if her dad could press charges on me for statutory rape if her mom takes my side. – Ben A. Male, age 17, USA |
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Not if you don't have sex. |
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For it to be considered statutory rape in Louisiana, the age gap must be greater than two years. Why can't you take your 15-year-old girlfriend roller-blading, or to the movies, or hanging out at the mall instead of having sex? Are you too cheap? |
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Dear Panel, I am 16 and had sex with my boyfriend who is 21. Is it illegal in his part? Please help – I think I might be pregnant. – Tina Female, age 19, USA |
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Whether or not it's legal, you're still pregnant. |
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It's illegal in Arizona, California, Colorado, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New Mexico, New York, North Dakota, Oregon, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. |
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Hi, this is Naveen. I'm in love with a gal who is from New Zealand. She is working for family services. I want to propose her but don't know how because nobody is there in group who can help me. And I also have fear that maybe she doesn't like Asian. My English is not as fluent as her. I always fall flat in front of her. Plzz help me. What do I do? How do I propose her as all in there group are from different countries and I'm the only one newcomer and very close to this people. – Echooous Male, age 21, India |
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It sounds like you can't even talk to her, and you want to get married? |
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You should probably first find out if she likes you. |
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If you want to propose talking to her, just do it. All other proposals are probably off. |
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Dear Panel, I am a teenager of 18 (male), and very shy and confused about all things involved in relationships. She is also a teenager of the same age, with more experience than I with the opposite sex. I met her about a year ago, through
friends, we talked at first and then we started to see each other
a few times, we got on really well, and I thought it was going to
work out. Then she changed her mind about us, and I have been friends
with her since. But recently she has become more physical in her ways, holding my hand and just being closer than we were before. Yet at the same time she still shies aways from being more than friends. What does this all mean? Do you think that she wants anything more? – Jonno Male, age 18, England |
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Sure she wants more: a good job, financial security, food, shelter, a slurpee when it's hot... oh, you meant relationship-wise... I dunno. |
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I think she's confused, same as most people. Friends are nice, but at the same time you can keep looking. |
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She may just feel close to you as a friend. |
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Just straight up ask her. |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend and I have lived together for three years. I learned he had an affair five times with the same girl. He says that he has realized what he could have lost, and has asked me to marry him. In your opinion, is this truth, or is he just scared of being alone? – NAME Female, age 14, USA |
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After dumping him, ask yourself why you'd want to be with cheating scum like him in the first place. (And "but I love him" is not a valid answer.)
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Five times? Show him what he lost. |
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Oh come on now... Next question... |
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Dear Panel, I am a 21-year-old Marine stationed at a US Embassy in West Africa. My girlfriend just joined the Marine Corps and is in North Carolina. We have been together for a year and a half. My question is can I trust her? I am 4000 miles away and it's hard. I know she is around hundreds of Marines and they come on to her on a daily basis. Can I trust her? We talk about getting married and having kids, but I'm always telling her how scared I am of losing her and she says you will never lose me, but its just so hard to believe. What should I do? Can I trust her? – REB Male, age 21, West Africa |
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You have to, if she's your girlfriend. Without trust, no good relationship. Or look at it this way: trust her until she gives you a reason not to. And being apart is not a reason. |
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Dear Panel, Me and C.J. (guy) were going to go out. Then I said "No, and it just isn't going to work out." Then, he was like "Why not ?" And I just said "Maybe another time." That was that. But lately he's been really touchy feely with me which I don't mind. If he was touching my ass and always trying to touch me, does he like me, or is he just a perve? – C.J. Chic Female, age 14, Canada |
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Boys ARE perves. |
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Depends – what else is he touching? |
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Are you like, stupid? |
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Dear Panel, I am a 30-year-old female who got divorced nearly a year ago after being unhappily married for 5 years. He is a 30 year old unhappily married man that is going through a divorce (I've seen the papers and know its true). His marriage has been a long-distance relationship for nearly 2 years with them living over 500 miles apart. We met and became friends. I was seeing other people and was offering him advice on how to keep his long-distance marriage together. Eventually after several months of just a platonic relationship, we began to get intimite. Now, after 6+ months of being together, I've fallen in love with him; but he says that he cant feel love because of all the pain and heartache he suffered trying to keep his long distance marriage going. He claims to have a "protective shell" around his heart and doesnt know if it will ever go away - but he cares for me a lot. Should I stick it out? – Unrequinted Love? Female, age 30, USA |
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Stick what out? You can keep having an affair with him, that seems to be okay with him. Want him to marry you? It probably won't happen. |
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Time heals all wounds – if you truly feel love and chemistry with this man then you should tell him and you should tell him how long you'd be willing to wait for his heart to heal. |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend left today for Las Vegas with two of his guy friends. He is coming back on Monday and his 2st birthday is on Sunday. I am hurt because at first I was invited,
then I was basically "uninvited" because he said I would
be bored out of my mind since I am not 21 yet and I wouldn't be able
to see him anyway since he would be gambling and drinking most of
the time. What's up with that?? Do I have a right to be mad for that? I am so hurt too because he doesn't even care about my plans for the weekend and just left me alone here. What do you think? – Badly Hurt Female, age 19, California |
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Would you have fun if you did go? Probably not with a whole bunch of guys! Don't be mad at him – he's just acting like a guy! |
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I think that he'd rather be with his buddies than with you. |
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If you can't handle something like this, how are you gonna handle the real problems? It's over. |
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Dear Panel, I want to leave a "secret admirer" note for my neighbor that I like. What should I say? – Need To Know Male, age 26, USA |
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"Hi neighbor, need any sugar?" |
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"I am a coward and can't confront you." |
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I wouldn't know. I haven't sent one since 6TH GRADE! Go talk to her! BE A MAN! |
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Sorry, that's the last question
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What do you think of these Snappy Answers? |
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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