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Dear Panel, I am soo confused. A really good guy friend of mine recently confessed that he is crazy about me. I sometimes like him, but sometimes I don't. I don't know what to say to him. Should I give it a try or should I just stay good friends with him? – Dazed and Confused Female, age 19, Pacific |
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Try going out on a date, and see what happens |
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Dear Panel, How can I find help? My girlfriend cheated on me and I can't get over it. – ANthony Male, age 19, USA |
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Well, you could start by finding a group of semi-anonymous semi-expert Internet advice panelists and ask them for help. |
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Write to Love & Learn. |
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If she feels she needs to cheat on you, maybe you should find someone who won't. |
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Dear Panel, I'm dating this guy and we have a pretty good relationship. The problem is I am visiting my mother out of state for about a month and my boyfriend thinks that I am messing around with other guys while I'm here. I have given him no reason to think that and I am very much in love with him. It upsets me that he thinks I would cheat on him. What can I do to reassure him that I am not doing anything behind his back? – Need help in AZ Female, age 18, USA |
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Have him call your mother and let her tell him that you are not messing around with guys. |
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Dear Panel, My boyfriend and I love each other, except for one thing that is really toxic for my trust and respect for him: his constant gazing at other women in public. I told him that this behavior seriously bothers me, and asked if he could tone it down or stop it. Instead, he says it is I who must learn to accept his staring (not looking) at other women, or else I am a jealous freak! I find this insensitivity to my hurt a sign of disrespect for me. What do you think? Should I continue this relationship with a man whose behavior is embarrassing and painful to me? – Not Feeling Respected Female, age 35, Germany |
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No. |
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Dear Panel, Are you going to email me back? Because I am waiting for it!!! But anyways, why is Troy going to the festival with other girls? Does he love and like me and care about me? Do you know these questions? – Jessika Female, age 17, Kali |
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No, we aren't emailing you back. We're publishing this for all the world to see. As for the rest, yes, we know these questions. We don't know the answers. We're not psychics. |
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Maybe you should ask Troy. |
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Dear Panel, I met this guy at a camp that I was helping at. We became friends and we have been talking on the phone every night for at least a year. He has a major crush on me and won't give it up. He loves me. I don't know if I feel the same way. How can I find out??? – Confused!!! Female, age 23, Africa |
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You'd know. |
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Just keep talking. He'll either go away, or you'll find you'd rather go to a movie than be on the phone. |
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Dear Panel, I'm meeting my boyfriend's parents for the first time, and I want to take his mother a gift. Any ideas? – JJ in PA Female, age 27, Pennsylvania |
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A bunch of compliments on how well she looks? |
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Read others' responses |
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Dear Panel, My girlfriend is spending 6 months in another country. How do I keep from going insane? – A Panelist Who Isn't Omniscient Male, age 20, USA
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Define INSANE! if we are talking about murdering people, commit yourself to a hospital immediately. If we are talking about just surviving without your girlfriend for 6 months, get another one. |
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Invest in a cell phone, and buy a plane ticket to go see her for a few weeks. |
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Dear Panel, Me and my ex are trying to fix things between us. I gave her my new phone number and asked her to call me, but she only emails me and says she's stalling because it will be weird. What can I do or say for her to overcome this feeling? – Daniel Male, age 18, USA |
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Why can't you call her? |
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Let her feel comfortable first, then she'll call. |
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Dear Panel, I'm 16, I'm not sexually involved, & I just wanted to ask for an idea of something romantic that I can do for my boyfriend as a surprise. Thanks. – Black Headache (f) Female, age 16, Israel |
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Baking chocolate chip cookies shows me that she cares. |
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Dinner, candles, music. |
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Get sexually involved with him! I'm sure he won't complain! |
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Dear Panel, Me and my boyfriend of a year now are both virgins. We have tried numerous times to have sex, but for some reason it never worked out. We couldn't get it in. What is wrong? – RS Female, age 15, Georgia |
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One word: lubrication! |
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Maybe it's a sign that you're both not ready to take that step yet. |
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At his age, his "shortcomings" are probably a hindrance. |
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Maybe it's a new birth control method? |
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Dear Panel, Is it wrong for an 18-year-old guy to be with a 14-year-old girl? Lots of people say it's like a child molester. – Worried Guy Male, age 18, California |
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Yep. Seems pretty close to child molesting to me. |
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It's not the age difference that's wrong (4 years), it's the point that she's still a child. |
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All depends on what you're doing when you're "with" her. |
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Dear Panel, I am shy, fun to be around, pretty, I met this older guy and he only says "hi" to me. I want to have a bigger convo with him. He is 5 years older than me and he is nicely built, and he is taller than me, and he is nice and likes kids, because I have a younger brother. We have not a big relationship, only face expressions. How can I make us be friends or more than friends, rather than just being strangers to each other? – Olena C. Female, age 14, North America |
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Ask him something about himself, say something nice to him, crack a joke to break the ice. |
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Have you heard the phrase, "Start a Conversation"? |
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Speaking as a 19 year-old guy myself, we generally don't date girls as young as 14. Your best bet would be to find someone more your age. |
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At 14, your relationship with a 19-year-old SHOULD consist of making facial expressions. |
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Dear Panel, Can a 24-year-old female date a 17-year-old guy? – John Male, age 17, USA |
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Don't you think the real question is SHOULD a 24 year old female date a 17 year old guy? |
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Can she handle the hormones? |
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Yes, just cut him in half and count the rings. |
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Dear Panel, I've been seeing this guy for awhile now. I'm 17 and he's 21. He's from Texas (where I'm from), but he's in California now because he is enlisted in the Marines. We've never had intercourse, but we've talked about it and plan on it. I know the legal age is 17 in Texas, but 18 in California. If the incident were to happen in Texas, could he get in trouble because of the different ages of consent (him living in CA and me in TX) and because he's enlisted in the Marines? – "Yesi" B. Female, age 17, Texas, USA |
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No. He won't get in trouble in Texas because the age of consent is 17. He won't get in trouble with the Marines, because the Uniform Code of Military Justice sets the age of consent at 16 years. If he has consensual sex in California with a California resident who is under 18, he will get in trouble with California law.
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You know, if you wait until you're 18, you'll build up incredible anticipation, and you won't even have to worry about these problems.
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Dear Panel, I am dating a 19-year-old male, and I'm 15. We have had sex. He didn't push me into anything; I wanted to have intercourse with him. I want to know if he can get in trouble for what we have done. – Kaylee Female, age 15, Pennsylvania |
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He might. Just in case wait, next time, till you're older. |
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Yes – big trouble in Pennsylvania, until you turn 16. |
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If you truly cared for him (and yourself), you would find out these things before screwing around. |
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Dear Panel, I am 49, married to a 55-year-old woman. We have a poor relationship. I am in love with her 37-year-old daughter. What to do? – Erick E. Male, age 49 |
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Get counseling, a divorce and GROW UP! |
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Have you considered the Jerry Springer Show? |
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Dear Panel, I am a 22-year-old woman who has only just got over her last serious relationship and I have now fallen in love again. My boyfriend Tom is wonderful, but he has been married before. His ex wife hurt him a lot by cheating on him with a man she swore to him was gay and destroyed his trust in women. I have a very good friend – Howie – who is gay, I see a lot of him and we have been friends all of our lives. Apart from the trust issues, the relationship is great. Tom is kind and sensitive and is a very similar person to myself. The only thing that stops that, is the fact that Tom has issues with my friend and is almost getting to the point of "him or me". I don't want to choose and don't think I could. How can I get Tom to see that Howie is not a threat and that he has no reason not to trust me? – Kathy Female, age 22, Suffolk, England |
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Prove to Tom that Howie is gay by getting them into bed with each other. |
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Insecurities can't be fixed, they just need time. |
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Dear Panel, I have been wanting to see my husband with another man. Is that wrong? Is there something wrong with me? Please help! – Confussed Female, age 25, TX |
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I would keep this to yourself – go get some porn. :) |
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Yes. You are sick, sick, sick. |
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There's nothing wrong with you, but let your fantasies be just that: Fantasies. |
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Yes. Find a good therapist. |
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No, it's not wrong. I wish my husband had more male friends, too. Other guys to talk computers with, etc. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. Oh! You mean....!!!! No, there's still nothing wrong with you. Fantasizing is fine and normal. If you want to go further, ask and see what happens. As long as all are adults, consenting – nothing's wrong. |
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Get some help, you freak! |
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Sorry, that's the last question
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Love & Learn: Relationship advice from a panel of non-experts.
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