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Dear Hurt and Confused,
I will not call you a slut. However you appear to have made some
very poor choices lately and now you are understandably distressed
by the consequences of your actions.
You Were "Easy"
You have been what is generally known as "easy". By making
out with this guy on your first date you told him that you do not
value your sexuality or expect it to take place within an intimate
relationship. This likely prompted his "suggestion" that
you continue messing around even after he made it clear that he
wanted no relationship with you. This should have been met by throwing
the closest beverage in his face.
By agreeing and having sex with him, you further confirmed his
guess that you were "easy" and a "cheap lay."
You required nothing of him and he got all he wanted of you. This
is not a fair arrangement.
The wisest thing that you have done is to tell him to get lost.
Of course he got mad. He had a good thing going and now he has lost
it.
Don't Waste Any More Time On Him
Don't waste any more of your energy on this guy.
Instead, figure out what you will do differently next time. If
you want to be a girl who guys will respect and value and want to
be with while clothed, you must act appropriately.
Require guys who want to date you to treat you with respect. Make
them open doors for you and pick up the tab to take you out, even
if it is just to the movies. Don't "put out" too soon.
Make intimacy with you something to be treasured, something to strive
for and work for. You are worth it.
Guys Want Sex
Realize that what guys say they want (lots of easy sex, girls who
don't fight to hard...) is not what they want to marry. You already
know what lies ahead for girls who are too easy to get. You don't
need to repeat this lesson 30 more times.
Ask any young man you know. They all want to someday marry a nice
girl who will remain faithful to them. Be that girl. Stop worrying
about having a boyfriend and all of the status that is associated
with that. Spend your time hanging out with your girlfriends.
Look at the adult relationships around you and figure out what
you do and don't like. Have fun. Ten years from now when these guys
have blown through all of the "easy" girls and want to
get married, you will still be comfortable and free and in the mean
time you will have lived a more interesting life which is bound
to make you a more interesting person.
I am sorry for your experiences. It is a hard lesson to learn but
it is an important one and hopefully learning it young will keep
you from a lifetime of disastrous relationships.
Good Luck,
– Jody
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