|
Dear Sigh,
First off, you contradict yourself when you say that this is the
relationship of which you have dreamed, (unless of course your own
fantasies entail a man who fantasizes about barely legal chicas).
He's Never Acted On His Fantasies
Obviously this disturbs you, you have talked to him about it and
he tells you they are harmless fantasies, and he has a point. If
he has never acted on them, and never has any designs toward acting
on them, then they are just that, harmless fantasies.
It's Illegal
What isn't harmless however is the illegal film you mentioned.
I hope your boyfriend knows that if that film is legit in it's proclamation
then he is committing a felony in
viewing/owning/purchasing/downloading/having anything
to do with it.
This of course having a domino effect on you when you get to explain
to your friends, family, and co-workers why they saw your man on
T.V. last night in handcuffs.
You've Broken His Trust
What also isn't harmless is what you have managed to do to your
own relationship, without (it sounds like), even realizing it.
How Did You Find Out?
The burning question on everyone's mind right now has to be, how
in the world did you find out?
I've said it before and I'll say it again, trust is what BINDS
a relationship. Once you
violate that you are hard put to repair it.
Case in point, you are/were in very happy relationship with a man,
best relationship ever in fact, and for some masochistic reason
you decide to spy on him. Or whatever. You dig something up about
him that has to be very personal, and let's face it, considering
the subject matter, a bit "turn-your-face-pink-upon-mentioning".
You betray the trust he has in you and in doing so, destroy your
own trust in him, consequently leading to the dissolution of his
trust in you.
This Is A Result Of Low Self Esteem
This looks to be a direct result of your own faulty self esteem.
You couldn't accept the fact that there was a great guy out there
that loved you for you and actually wanted to be with a cow like
yourself, (no insult intended here, only personifying), and you
just had to find the catch, didn't you?
The truth is, sister, if there is someone in your relationship
who isn't happy with your "ample" breasts, it's you. If
it was him do you really think he would "enjoy" them?
Get
Over It
My advice to you is to get over it. People, men and women alike,
fantasize. They are sometimes, not always, extreme or far-fetched
situations that would never in a million years happen, that's why
they're called fantasies.
Wild cheerleader orgies only ever occur in Penthouse, and when
those lounge lizards write in to tell all about them, guess what?
They're lying.
Work on yourself. If you are not happy with your shape, go to a
gym. Ask your man to go with you. Work very, VERY hard to get his
trust back, and keep your nose out of his computer, and you should
be fine.
Saibhin
|