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Hi Melanie,
Caveman Used That Ploy
The whole comment "let me show you how much I love you"
is a ploy as old as the earth. I'm sure cavemen probably would have
used it, if they did more than grunt. Your boyfriend wants SEX.
That is it. Plain and simple. He's an eighteen year old boy, and
if he DIDN'T, I'd be more concerned about that. But putting it bluntly,
if he wasn't with you, he'd be looking for someone else to have
sex with.
Teens Have Raging Hormones
I think a guy at age 18 is just as capable of loving someone as
a guy at age 30 – but their hormone level IS off the charts
at 18. He's eighteen years old, his hormones are RAGING through
his body. Every ounce of his body is telling him to have sex. Every
fiber, every other thought (maybe every thought, who knows), every
breath, every look – at 18 years of age, it is a number one
priority in his life. Ask ANY guy. (Guys, feel free to answer this).
But I WILL tell you that ANY man who loves you will wait until
YOU are ready for sexual behavior. And any man who truly loves you
will not expect you to give up your morals and beliefs for him.
This Decision is About You
But put him aside for a minute, take him completely out of consideration
because this is about YOU.
It's important that YOU decide for yourself if you are ready to
have sex, to give up your virginity. It IS a big deal, more so for
women than for men. Most women are incapable of separating the emotion
from the physical act, and honestly that is one of the things that
make sex so wonderful for us. Because it IS body, mind and soul.
It should be that way, especially for your first time.
 Dealing
with the Consequences
Are you ready to deal with the consequences? Having sex is about
more than just the physical act, it's also about dealing with the
aftermath – emotionally and logically.
How will you feel about yourself if you give up on your morals
of staying a virgin until marriage (which is very admirable)? Are
you prepared for a sexual relationship? It does change the dynamics
of how you relate to each other.
How would you handle it if you were to get pregnant? Are you prepared
to deal with that, to face the options? You have the right to make
the choice for yourself.
Given that this is a huge step for you, you should really consider
whether it's a step YOU are ready to face yet. If you are emotionally
ready and physically ready, then it should be completely your choice
– and allow yourself to make that choice and be okay with it.
Guys Who Respect You
At age eighteen, it would probably be really frustrating for your
boyfriend not to be in a sexual relationship with you. I won't lie,
but there ARE guys who will respect your needs and your level of
comfort. Just don't give up your needs to meet his. If your boyfriend
isn't willing to stick around, then is that really the guy you want
to give up your virginity to?
– Jeannie
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