Dear Panel,

I am a 26-year-old female from Wisconsin.

Okay, I'm seeing two guys, and I'm at the point now where I want to start seeing only one- to be fair to both of them. But I'm not sure about the future with either of them.

Rob the Wild Guy

Rob is 30, a handsome man who may smoke little too much, drink too often, and party a bit too hard, but he knows the right things to do and say, and I think there's a real chemistry between us.

Justin the Sweetest Guy

And then there's Justin, 26. He's harder to describe. Justin is quite possibly the sweetest guy I've ever met in my life. To give you an example of how nice he is: one time he came over to visit me, and only after listening to me complain for at least fifteen minutes about something trivial from work did he tell me that he had fallen down in my driveway and hurt himself. We found out at the hospital that he had knocked his arm out of his socket! This isn't an isolated incident – this guy is always unselfish, considerate, and friendly to everyone. And he never gets angry. He always hugs me when I want him, and he always cares about my needs and wants. My dog even loves this guy! He's patient, caring, and fun to be with.

Justin's Walls

Here's the problem: Justin seems to have these walls up that he won't let anyone penetrate. It's very hard to get him to talk about how he feels, and that's not because he's not an emotional person – by his expressions I can see he's one of the most emotional men I've known. In fact, I have to be careful, because it's real easy to hurt his feelings. (Even though he won't tell me I did so, of course.) It's also hard to get to know what he likes and what he wants. He just won't open up. And it's not that he's shy. I don't know what it is.

I Want a Long-Term Relationship

Anyway, like I said: I want to see just one person now. But I want to choose the person who will be the best long-term, and not just now.

Do you think Justin is a lost cause?

Should I just enjoy what I have with Rob and forgive his faults?

Or do you think Justin will open up eventually, and I should be as patient with him as he is with me?

I'm really confused. Please help. Which one?

Female, age 26, Wisconsin

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