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What do I do with an Ex who uses me?

Rick Answers:

Dear NS,

Well, you are completely correct – this is a control thing.

He's Using Your Desire for a Friendship To Manipulate You

Bailey

You're right – he wants her to believe she can keep him by sleeping with him.

He wants to have sex with you, you seem to not want to just have sex with him. He is forcing you to do something that you don't want to do. He is using the fact that "you really connect as friends" to force and manipulate you into having sex with him.

Purely Sexual Relationships Must Be Consensual

While I have no problem with purely sexual relationships, they only work if consensual – in other words, they only work if all either party wants is sex, and this clearly isn't the case. You want an actual relationship, and he wants to control you and f--- you (and yes, I use that word deliberately, that's what he's doing). Right now you're letting him have what he wants.

End It Now

Patra

She knows this already. The hard part is getting her heart in the program.

You need to end this and you need to end it now. This guy is dirt, you will eventually get over him, but it will take time; however the process of getting over him cannot start until you stop letting him manipulate you.

Hard in the Short Term, Better in the Long Run

Reader NS

Thank you for taking the time to help me, giving me the strength to move forward.

You need to make a choice: do you want to stay in a bad situation that will only get worse, not better, or do you want to make the right choice, and do what's hard in the short term but better in the long run and dump this jerk?

Rick

 

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