Hmmm... 10 ways to know when it's time to break up...

I think you miss a big point. A relationship takes work. Hard work.

I'm going to give you some things (not necessarily 10) that I think would be bad signs, but I don't think any (or all) of them should mean you HAVE to break up, just that you need to consider them.

New or Old Problems?

WTIVHTR (Net-speak for: Wow (this is (very) hard to read (and we mean really).))

And in my opinion, the most important thing (IMHO, in my humble opinion, for this not versed is early 'Net-speak) is whether it's a new thing. If the problems have always been there (e.g. are part of his or her personality), they most likely will always be there (don't try to change who someone is).

The Person You Fell in Love with Is Still There

He's already called it quits. He's just looking for a good reason to tell folks when they ask.

I hope that by saying "you're simply never going to succeed with this person" you don't really mean "you're simply never going to succeed in CHANGING this person" because I don't believe that that should be the goal of ANY relationship).

I don't think it's easy to fall out of love. In fact, it's harder than falling in love! Once you've fallen, you've fallen hard! – Zoe, age 15, Ireland

However if the problems are new (i.e. a result of some new stress) it is quite likely that the "old" person that you fell in love with is still in there somewhere.

Most importantly, listen to yourself.

Top Ten Reasons

Some reasons to reconsider a relationship:

1. It no longer makes you happy.
   
   
2. You no longer look forward to seeing your significant other (abbreviated S.O. from now on).
   
   
3. Your S.O. avoids you.
   
   
4. The majority of your friends try to tell you just how much of a bitch /asshole/ jerk/ weirdo/ etc. your S.O. has become. Caveat emptor: (and yes I know you're not paying for this advice – too bad – but my Latin skills are kind of rusty) this has a lot to do with who your friends are and how long they've known you and how much you trust them, but in general they are more likely to be objective than you. Not that it isn't fun to be blissfully ignorant for a while, but eventually you will realize what a mistake dating, or – god-forbid – marrying, this was.
   
   
5. You only feel comfortable around your S.O. in certain situations (at parties, in bed, while drunk/ high, etc.) not all the time.
   
   
6. Your S.O. ever hits you (I know that your response will be "duh", but you'd be surprised by the number of people who remain in abusive relationships).
   
   
7. You are no longer attracted to your S.O. This is a tricky one, probably less significant than others. Everyone goes through periods when they aren't as sexually active, but if you genuinely are no longer attracted to your S.O. – and I mean in all ways – if you are no longer physically attracted to them, that is easily overcome by other factors (such as their personality, a sense of "togetherness" or "completeness"), but if everything is gone then you have something to worry about.

OK, not ten reasons, but the best that I could do.

And remember that none of these are necessarily reasons to break up with your S.O.; they are really things to get you thinking.

It's Not Cut and Dried

I guess I haven't been that much help; but it's pretty hard to be as cut and dried about it as you'd like me to be. Remember the person that you fell in love with, if you think your S.O. is still that person, then stick with it, but if you fell in love with what he/she COULD be not what they ARE, then baby, you were lost from the beginning.

Good luck,

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