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Dear Lonely,
Many Don't Know What They Want
A lot of people are not sure what they are looking for in relationships.
Especially at your age, but even with people a lot older and more
experienced than you. I'd have to say that many teenage boys do
not look for the same things in relationships as teenage girls.
Girls Are Like Conquests
As immature and stupid as this was, when I was your age I would
try to find the prettiest, most popular girl to hook up with so
that I could tell my friends all about it and feel better about
myself. A lot of boys are like this, even ones in college, as you
might later learn, too. To some guys, girls are like conquests.
They like the thrill of the chase and then feel great when they
win. But their winning comes at the expense of girls getting hurt.
Popular Guys Are Arrogant
This goes for both guys and girls, though. You might realize that
many of the guys and girls that are popular, good-looking, and cool
are cocky and arrogant. It sounds like the good-looking guys that
you know might be arrogant and only looking to make themselves feel
even better about themselves.
And the guys that aren't so good-looking don't have to really worry
about living up to their reputations and physical appearance. It's
hard to find people that are really great all-around. When someone
really has something going for them like good-looks, popularity,
brains, or whatever, it's easy to get caught up in it since it does
great things for you.
Popularity and Good Looks Aren't Everything
As you get older, you will probably and hopefully realize that
popularity and good looks are not everything. Of course it is nice
to be with people who are well-liked and are nice to look at, but
there are tons of great people out there who don't stick out so
easily. As I got older, I've learned that many of the popular kids
I went to high school with really weren't THAT cool. Some were very
cocky, jerks, and willing to do whatever it took to feel good whether
it involved someone else getting hurt or not.
Great People Aren't Noticed Quickly
I've realized that most of the great people aren't the ones that
you notice so quickly. They are the ones that you really get to
know after talking to the
And for most people I know, personality, character, attitude, goals,
and humor are more important to them than good-looks.
I've been told by all my girlfriends how good-looking they think
I am, and it got to my head when I was younger, but now I realize
that it's a bonus, that's all. Being a great guy inside is more
important that being great on the outside.
But hey, if you're a great girl inside AND good-looking, you've
got more going for you.
Be Yourself
So be yourself, be as great a girl as you can be, be outgoing
and accepting of all types of guys, and soon you'll meet that great,
good-looking, special guy you are looking for.
– Carl
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