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Carl

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How do I attract the guys that I'm attracted to?

Carl Answers:

Dear Lonely,

Many Don't Know What They Want

A lot of people are not sure what they are looking for in relationships. Especially at your age, but even with people a lot older and more experienced than you. I'd have to say that many teenage boys do not look for the same things in relationships as teenage girls.

Girls Are Like Conquests

As immature and stupid as this was, when I was your age I would try to find the prettiest, most popular girl to hook up with so that I could tell my friends all about it and feel better about myself. A lot of boys are like this, even ones in college, as you might later learn, too. To some guys, girls are like conquests. They like the thrill of the chase and then feel great when they win. But their winning comes at the expense of girls getting hurt.

Popular Guys Are Arrogant

This goes for both guys and girls, though. You might realize that many of the guys and girls that are popular, good-looking, and cool are cocky and arrogant. It sounds like the good-looking guys that you know might be arrogant and only looking to make themselves feel even better about themselves.

And the guys that aren't so good-looking don't have to really worry about living up to their reputations and physical appearance. It's hard to find people that are really great all-around. When someone really has something going for them like good-looks, popularity, brains, or whatever, it's easy to get caught up in it since it does great things for you.

Popularity and Good Looks Aren't Everything

As you get older, you will probably and hopefully realize that popularity and good looks are not everything. Of course it is nice to be with people who are well-liked and are nice to look at, but there are tons of great people out there who don't stick out so easily. As I got older, I've learned that many of the popular kids I went to high school with really weren't THAT cool. Some were very cocky, jerks, and willing to do whatever it took to feel good whether it involved someone else getting hurt or not.

Great People Aren't Noticed Quickly

Sistergirl
You're right. And she won't even notice them if she keeps chasing the wrong guys.

I've realized that most of the great people aren't the ones that you notice so quickly. They are the ones that you really get to know after talking to the

 

Agape

Rock on, Carl. I really appreciate you saying this.

And for most people I know, personality, character, attitude, goals, and humor are more important to them than good-looks.

I've been told by all my girlfriends how good-looking they think I am, and it got to my head when I was younger, but now I realize that it's a bonus, that's all. Being a great guy inside is more important that being great on the outside.

But hey, if you're a great girl inside AND good-looking, you've got more going for you.

Carl Be Yourself

So be yourself, be as great a girl as you can be, be outgoing and accepting of all types of guys, and soon you'll meet that great, good-looking, special guy you are looking for.

Carl

 

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