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Dear Confused,
Well, as I see it, you may have a communication issue in your relationship.
You did not say either way, but I get the impression you haven't
actually heard from him that he has strong feelings for you.
Attributing Feelings to Him That Aren't His
As I read it, it sounds like you are going on circumstantial evidence.
I agree with you that he quite probably likes you a lot, that he
values your opinion, and that he enjoys talking to you. But don't
base your decision as far as a long term relationship on attributing
feelings to him that may not be there.
Tell Him
My approach would be to sit him down, and honestly talk to him.
Tell him how you feel, explain what's been going on in your mind
and heart, and then wait to see his reaction. If I read your story
right, you have only seen this guy 4 times, although you have talked
a lot more. I am not sure just how well you know him to actually
be able to tell what his feelings might be, if he hasn't clearly
expressed them.
Ask His Friend
A different approach would be to talk to the guy that set you up
on that blind date, and see what he can tell you. He may know your
guy's style, and maybe he's even heard him talk about you. This
does sound a bit juvenile, but any additional info can help you
screw up the courage to just open up to your guy and get the ball
rolling.
Know Your Plans
Either way, I think the first thing you ought to do is figure out
what you want from this relationship. Have you solved the location
issue you mentioned, or would it still be a long-distance relationship?
Do you know what he's looking for as far a a girlfriend? What do
you know of his long-term plans? How do you fit in that, and how does he fit in
yours? You just need to know what each of you wants, and figure
out how that's compatible.
Be Prepared To Just Be Friends
The thing I think is most positive about your relationship so far,
is that you mentioned you talked a lot. As long as you truly get
along, I think you can get through just about anything else. Talk
to him, and be prepared for whatever way this might go. Are you
interested in just being friends if this is all he wants?
Put In Your Own Effort
You mentioned he was the one calling you, and that he doesn't seem
to be putting in as much effort into this whole thing as he used
to. How much effort are you putting in? Do you call him as much
as he calls you? Did you call him after that weekend you spent together?
I think you may have a chance at a good thing here. But I am not
better equipped than you to say what's going on. You wrote an articulate
account of your relationship so far, so I know you can explain sensibly
to him what you are thinking. Again, I feel that is your best course
of action right now.
Good luck, and let me know how it goes!
– Luthien
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