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Confused,
My goodness.
Who Let It Drift Off?
While you certainly gave us lots of information to work with, you
forgot to mention one thing: who was letting the phone calls drift
off? You? Him? A concerted effort?
He Was on the Rebound
That aside, I would like you to consider the fact that this guy
very very recently broke up with someone he was engaged to marry,
i.e. spend the rest of his life with. He may indeed have potential
feelings for you, but breaking off an engagement, whether his doing
or hers, wounds a person deeply. Two months seems hardly time enough
to recover, and in some powerful sense, I think that you were a
rebound relationship.
Pick Up the Phone and Call Him
It is my belief that communication is a fundamental key to a successful
relationship. Most of the other panelists, I believe, agree with
me on this. By allowing the phone calls to dwindle (whether you
were doing the dwindling, or allowing the dwindling to continue)
you were not holding open the lines of communications. Even if he
didn't call you, there's nothing that says you can't pick up the
phone and leave a quick message the next day.
Don't Be Obsessive
Don't become obsessive about it; we all hate those people. But
a nice simple sweet message. "Hi, how are you. Just wondering
what's up. Give me a call when you get a chance."
Men Aren't Mind-Readers
Remember, men, much like women, are not mind readers. You must
tell them what you are thinking in order for them to know. If you
want the relationship to happen, you can't simply think at him:
"call me call me call me." You must tell him. Communication.
What's the worst that could happen if you told him you were interested
in a relationship? He says "no"? You know that he's not
interested, you are sad for a while, but you recover.
You May Have Been a Fling
Of course, now let me play devil's advocate. It could very well
be that you went and got yourself used. It was a fling for him,
something to dull the pain from that (awful?) breakup with his ex-fiancée.
He felt that you were someone he was attracted to, but there seemed
to be no strings attached, so what the heck? He could have a great
weekend, tons of fun, and walk away and never look back.
Mentions Are Not Promises
Mentions of calling one another are NOT promises to make those
calls. They are mentions, and right there the momentum of the weekend
was already dwindling. His strong emotions seeming to be evident
doesn't mean that he really does have strong emotions for you.
I think that if you are really interested in the guy, you should
pick up the phone and call the him. Remind him that you are there,
and you are interested in possibly making something of it. That
spark that you felt at the beginning is a spark to tell you that
something is possible; it's up to you to make it happen.
It Was a Fling If You Don't Call
Was it a fling? It was, if you don't do anything to open the lines
of communication. If he says no, keep the good memory that it was
and go forward. If you are determined, distance can be breached.
I know someone who lived 6 hours apart from his girlfriend, and
it wasn't the distance that broke them up.
The only way to find out if he is serious is to talk to him.
Live in the Now
You don't know how things are going to end up – that's half
the fun of life. No one does. You only have the now to live in.
So live in it. Pick up the phone and call the guy. It's a big ocean,
he's one fish. But he may be the one that you want to keep.
You won't know unless you talk to him.
Good luck!
Live simply, simply live,
– Jennae
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