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Dear Anonymous,
Keep Your Distance
I admire your principle and dedication to "saving yourself"
for the right person. Cultural differences aside, it sounds like
your Latin American friend is really not respectful of your wishes,
and I would advise you to keep your distance, emotionally as well
as physically.
He Should Respect Personal Boundaries
Your desire to establish a deep connection to someone without an
overt sexual aspect is not a pipe dream, it's certainly possible
with the right person. Besides being compatible with you in terms
of life goals, spiritual direction, and material desires, this person
should, above all, have the utmost respect for you as an individual
and for your personal boundaries. Your Latin American friend's actions
make it seem that, as you suspect, he's only interested in one thing,
and it isn't help with any academic subject.
Don't Prolong His Frustration
You sound like a very self-aware and observant young woman, with
a good idea of what you should do already. I think that continuing
a relationship with this man will just prolong and delay the inevitable,
namely his frustration and your disillusionment, so I would wholeheartedly
confirm your tendency to move on.
I wish you the best in finding your mate – I'm sure he's out
there!
–
Mensch
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