Dear Waiting Game,

I understand how you feel, because I often feel the same way. It can be very disheartening, I know... you meet great women who are absolutely wonderful, and even though they may have all the qualities you desire in a companion, there's still that intangible, but all-important "something" that is missing.

Search for that "Fit"

I've given a lot of thought to this frustrating fact of life, and for me, at least, I think it stems from the fact that it's not enough for a potential mate to have a wealth of wonderful qualities; those qualities must also be assembled in such a fashion that they "fit."

Without that "fit," it's impossible to find true satisfaction in a relationship, because there always will be this nagging feeling that there is something better for you out there. There is nothing inherently wrong with you for feeling this way, and I can assure you, you're not alone in your frustration.

When You Meet the Right One, You'll Know It

Oh bull! There is no right one.

As for your current situation, it doesn't sound like she's THE ONE. It's a simple relationship litmus test: if you have serious doubts and reservations about making a commitment, it's because as great as she may be, she's not the one for you. Your friends are very right about what they say: when you find the perfect woman, you will just know it; the moment you do, all these voices in the back of your head, urging you to think about what else might be out there for you, will all fall silent.

Don't Settle for Less

That said, don't simply settle for something less than what you would find truly fulfilling. It wouldn't be fair to you, to your potential wife, or to the kids that would follow, because if you weren't completely happy with the situation, how could you hope to make them happy? I think that one of the
reasons the divorce rate is so high in this society is because people in your situation just settle for what's there, instead of striving for what's right for them. If you're losing interest, marriage won't stop that.

Don't Create Monsters

But he may not know the right one if he doesn't take some time off from dating to figure out what he wants.

I guarantee you, you are not incapable of love, you just haven't found the right person yet. You'll meet her someday when you least expect it, so don't create your own monsters by trying too hard to manufacture that special feeling. Until you do meet Ms. Right, though, don't string along women you're chronically unsure of.

– Shaggy