Dear Jasmina,

I'm usually not this raw, but for some reason you have caught me on a raw night.

You're Nothing But a Booty Call to Him

Jasmina, I hate to break this to you, girlfriend, but right now you are nothing but a booty call to Don. If he really felt that you were "all that" outside of the bed, he would have dumped his main girl a long time ago.

You Began the Relationship This Way

Unfortunately, that's the way you set the relationship up and that's the way Don accepted it. If your "stuff" ain't got him by now, it ain't gonna happen. Not as long as you keep giving it to him whether or not he commits. Does a cow and free milk come to mind?

You're Boosting His Ego

Now, I ask you Jasmina, what man in his right mind is gonna give up his main girl for someone who's content being his side fling? It must be an enormous boost to his ego that he can have a main girl and have you on the side too. As a matter of fact, you've probably got him thinking that if you leave, he can get another one like you just like that.

He Loves Her, Not You

And he'd be right. Because we (as women) have got to stop looking for love in all the wrong places, Jasmina! You say that you're looking for a man who will love you unconditionally. Please! Hello! Don doesn't know the first thing about love. If he did, he wouldn't be cheating on his real girlfriend with you. If Don is anywhere near love, it's with his main girl because he refuses to give her up for you, no matter how much he complains about her. He has obviously learned to love her despite her faults.

Either that or he's just feeding you stuff to give you hope that he'll someday break up with her. And (in the meanwhile) he can keep getting a little extra from you. His lips say he cares about you, but his actions do not.

He Doesn't Want To Be Responsible for Your Happiness

You're right. You deserve to be loved unconditionally. But no human being can do that for you until you first learn to do it for yourself. If you truly feel that Don is the only person who can complete you, then Don is not the problem. It's you.

I wouldn't want to get with you either, knowing that I'm responsible for your happiness. It's enough for each of us to tend to our own needs, let alone always being expected to keep another person happy.

Don't Be a Second Class Woman

Bottom line, you don't love Jasmina enough to say, "I love myself too much to be treated like a second class woman." You shouldn't have accepted it in the first place, but you live and learn, you know? We all make mistakes. Learn from it so that you can pass it on to someone else.

He's Feeding You Both Lies

I agree. He is not the perfect guy – he cheated!

Besides, knowing what you know about Don (that he's a cheater and a womanizer) what makes you think he won't do the same thing to you if he did "say" he was gonna be with just you?????

He's not feeding her lies. He is acting according to their agreement.

He obviously has no shame to his game. He's just feeding the both of you lies, but (like I said) it's not really his problem. It's yours. Maybe, just maybe, if you start giving yourself the respect you deserve, the next man will, too.

– Sistergirl