Dear Steve:

Reunions Don't Meet Our Expectations

She may be ashamed of who she has changed into – and would resent the contact.

I see nothing wrong with contacting your lost love now after so many years. except I should warn you – these "reunions" often do not meet our expectations. People and feelings change after so many years.

Twenty-five years is a long time. With that said, I know some specific stories where people did reunite after years and years apart and picked up where they left off – still caring deeply for one another.

How She Feels Now

Who cares? Race is not an issue unless they pursue a relationship.

The racism issue is another complication. What were her feelings about this then and do they match what she feels now? The only way to find out the answer to this question is to contact her.

The best way to prepare for these encounters is to not have high expectations but simply to "touch base" with this significant person from your past to see what she is "all about" now. She may be just as anxious to see you as you are to see her.

Email First

You may want to first try to making contact through email as people are much more comfortable with these sorts of initial communications these days. If this is not an option, I enourage you to seek her out by telephone.

Seek Her Out

Satisfy your curiousity, but again...keep your expectations in a reasonable range. People sometimes change dramatically over time in their philosophy and appearance. However, the ESSENCE of the person remains. If this is what drew you to her initially, I encourage you to seek her out now.

Let us know how things turn out. Like all foolish romantic Americans, I'm rootin' for you.

– Miss Kitty