Survivor Answers:

Dear Steve,

What do you want out of life, gusto or dead space?

Reasons People Stay in Bad Relationships

My parents stayed married for a lifetime "for the kids" not because they liked or loved each other.

I stayed married for 9 years to someone who liked to go out and cheat on a regular basis.

I stayed married because I swore a oath before God, you know, "for better or worse" etc. and limited myself for all that time, never had a affair.

I am not saying split up or not split up, but people stay together in bad relationships for the oddest reasons and never realize their best because of it.

Sex Is the Cake Topping, Not the Entire Cake

I'm currently married to a gal and there is very little sex in the relationship, but there is mutual respect and love, which, by the way, makes all the difference in the world. Sex is like the topping on the cake, not the cake.

Make a List of Reasons

Try this little excersise in decision making and see how it works out. I have used it in difficult decisions many times, so it is tried and true and it works.

So take a sheet of paper and (or two) and write at the top of one "reasons for staying in the relationship" and on the other "reasons for NOT staying in the relationship." Write your reasons for and against on the pages. Short and to the point entries. When finished, put the pages away in a safe place and leave it alone for around two weeks (yes two week, you have lived with the problem for this long, another 2 weeks ain't going to kill you).

Then take it out and look at it and read it again and see if a decision arises from it. Always has for me.

By the way, Good luck.

– Mr. Survivor

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