Dear Panel,
I am from London (UK) 27 years old and a very
confused salesman, which probably explaines why an idiot like
me (being so fast in the talking department) could get envolved
with 2 gorgeous women .
The German Babe
I am having an affair with a German girl, 23
years old and split with her boyfriend in November 2000 after
he found a letter that she was writing to me. She is a wonderful
person and now waits for me to decide between her or my girlfriend.
She has a wonderful family, shares the same interest (baseball/softball)
and she is the only other girl I have ever slept with (and
she is unbelieveable in bed)!
My Boring Girlfriend
My girlfriend, who is 27, a teacher. She is
beautiful and loving in a cuddly way but sexually and passionately
she is like watching the news! Deep down she loves me very
much but she did split with me 3 years ago and broke my heart
but came back 2 months later when she realised that she had
made a mistake. She is a very career minded person. She seems
relluctant to get married and one of the most bizarre things
is that I have only met her dad twice in ten years.
I think this is because she thinks he is looking
for your graduate-type chap and I am just a scum bag salesman!?
How I Met My Girlfriend
12 years ago a guy I knew was dating this chick
(my girlfriend) and I have to say I had the hots for her the
first day I saw her! A couple of years later we bumped into
each other and she asked if I would come to her school dance.
Trying to stay cool I agreed. We started dating through the
next year and then she went to university. Believing that
we were both in love we decided to give it a go regardless
of distance and saw each other every 2 weeks and holidays
for the next 4 years.
Our Breakup and Reunion
On graduating I believed that within a couple
of years we would get a place together and get engaged but
she was not interested in either, rusulting in some big arguments
sometimes. After 2 years she decided that she did not love
me any more! I was devastated but put on a brave face. 2 Months
later she made contact and we dated again for a while, eventually
getting fully back together after a surprise trip to Paris
on Valentines day (what a slick sales move!)
How I Met the German Babe
At the end of that school year she changed schools
and we found a flat together.
The following summer my baseball team took a trip to Holland
to play in a tournament. Here I met a cute girl from Germany
who was playing softball at this tournament. My best friend
had the hots for her but she ignored him and kept after me.
I could have done the dirty on my girlfriend then, but thought
this would be wrong for my relationship and not very nice
for my friend.
For the next 8 months I was kicking myself for
not making a move and decided that when we went to Dortmund
(Germany) for our next tournament I would 'test' my love and
also get a bit of revenge for my broken heart a few years
earlier (which I know was a stupid thing to do on both counts).
At the tournament we met again but were both very shy and
on the last night there was a big party and we were drawn
together like a magnet. After a quick exchange of spit at
the end of the night we said goodnight. The day we flew back
to the UK she arrived at the hotel and we kissed again briefly
and said that we would write to each other.
I returned home feeling a bit guilty but excited
to receive a letter from my German babe. I wrote to her the
same night I returned home and we continued to write to each
other for the next 4 months until we met at the tournament
in Holland again. She drove all day from the Black Forrest
just to come for 1 night to see me! That night we sat in a
dugout until 4.30am making out and I never thought that a
dugout could be so romantic! There was so much passion and
after the lack of passion and sex in my current relationship,
I felt like James Bond! Even though I desperately wanted to
make love with her, we decided not to and the next day we
said goodbye.
We Made Love for the First Time
On returning to the UK I was going crazy missing
her and flew to Dortmund to see her 2 weeks later. It was
so crazy but again I was drawn like a magnet and it was here
that we mode love for the first time. After making love together
I felt so guilty I was nearly physically sick. I could not
believe what I had done! A month later she came to London
with her friend and every day I was so nervous going to their
hotel, wishing that the time would go faster and they could
return home (at no point did we make love because they shared
a room).
2 weeks later she came alone to London and I
got so nervous I nearly packed her back to Germany the next
day and asked my girlfriend to marry me! My best friend said
to me to calm down and enjoy myself and we ended up having
a wonderful time. This time we only left the hotel once and
sexually I had just taken a weekend tour of the galaxy! Christmas
passed quickly and in the new year I went with my friend to
Germany and had a great time with my babe and her best friend.
No nerves this time and I came back believing that it might
be over with my girlfriend.
My Girlfriend and I Start To Drift Apart
Things at home were getting very stale, my girlfriend
and I spending hardly any time together and starting to drift
apart. 2 weeks after my last trip I went back to Germany but
at the last minute panicked and cancelled believing that I
could not keep doing this to my girlfriend anymore, my insides
wear ripping apart with guilt, worry and anxiety.
My babe was devastated and after speaking to
her on the telephone I felt so bad and still missed her so
much that I jumped on another plane the next day! On the boarding
the plane I had such a panic attack I asked the pilot if I
could get off but it was too late. We flew to Germany and
I thought that I would let my babe down gently and say that
my girlfriend wanted to get married and I needed time to get
my head straight. After telling her this I offered to stay
in a hotel but she asked me to stay with her family. We talked
for hours and I don't think I have cried so much in my life!
We discussed the problem and she was so understanding, saying
that I should marry my girlfriend but I did not want to say
goodbye to my babe. We kept saying it was wrong to make love
but every time we went near each other we ended up in bed!
I Told My Girlfriend I Didn't Know If I Loved
Her Anymore
On returning home (in tears most of the way)
I felt that now I would start to cool off with my girlfriend
and also decided to let things cool off with my babe as well,
giving me time to get my head straight. On Valentine's Day
this year I took my girlfriend to dinner but found myself
so removed from her emotionaly and physically I ended up telling
her that I did not know if I loved her anymore (great timing)
after some tears we talked and I explained that the lack of
passion and sex in our relationship meant that I had backed
off so much to avoid arguments about it, it had made me very
distant.
We agreed to see how things went as we have
been together 10 years this summer and did not want to throw
it all away. My German babe came to the UK 2 weeks later and
we had a great time, no nerves, but sometimes I would think
that it would have to end because I would get these feelings
that I just wanted a cuddle from my girlfriend. When we said
goodbye at the airport I was still as confused as ever.
Today I was going to fly to Germany again but
again was so nervous I said that I could not get a flight.
I thought to myself that this has to stop and thankfuly my
babe held things together but was still very sad. Tonight
I sit here thinking that I have done the right thing and also
missing her like crazy! My girlfriend is a babe and we have
a very deep relationship but do not share the same interests
and our relationship lacks passion and our sex life is non
existent. This is not a matter of being in a relationship
for so long, it has been like this since the beginning, in
fact we have had so many arguments about it I am surprised
we have been together so long! I guess I have just taught
myself to live with it? But I also guess that the fact I ever
looked elsewhere, after damning others so much for doing so,
must mean that deep down I cannot take it!?
I Can't Decide
I am so confused I don't know what to do! If
I could take the best bits from each girl I would have the
perfect woman, but I know that I have to make a choice because
I cannot carry on like this. Emotionaly I feel on the brink
of a breakdown but I cannot say goodbye to either of them.
I suppose it would be easier to say goodbye to my German babe
but I worry about what I might be losing because I will never
stray again (I have learnt my lesson) so I will have to accept
my girlfriend for her faults. I know I have been a complete
scum bag but I have to make a descision and it's killing me!
I can't belive that I even write to complete
strangers now for help! Confused? You will be! On the next
edition of 'Me and my crazy life'. If you can squeeze this
into a paragraph on your website I will be trully amazed!
Who goes?
– Steve
Male, age 27, London
Jeannie,
Jimmy,
Mo, and Mr.
Survivor answer this question.
