Dear No Telling,

You sound like you are really lonely. I think it was really brave of you to write this letter. Recognizing what is going on inside you is an important first step in making some changes so you can lead the kind of life you want to lead.

Discuss It with a Therapist

It's great that you have considered therapy. What stopped you from trying it out? I urge you to go see a counselor or therapist. If you don't have a good experience with the first one you go to, please keep looking. I think it would really help to have another person with whom to discuss these things.

Focus on Non-Intimate Relationships

It might be a good idea to focus on friendship – the ones you have and also making new ones. You can learn a lot from friends and it might help some to take the pressure off looking for an "intimate" relationship. Can you get involved with some activities that might lead to new friendships? (Volunteering, taking classes, pursuing a hobby.)

We All Feel Lonely Sometimes

But this is much more than feeling lonely – this alarms me.

I want you to know that everyone feels lonely sometimes. It can be really difficult, especially when it seems like everyone around you has paired off.

You aren't alone.

Become a Better Partner

One thing that may or not be helpful is this: I think that the more challenging your life is before you meet your partner, the better partner you will be later. Just some food for thought.

Please find a good therapist to speak with and let us know how it goes.

– Gillian