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Okay, True Love,
Don't Marry Anyone Now
I was trying to come up with a nice way of saying this, but I can
think of no other way. You have no business marrying anybody right
now for any reason. Period.
First of all, if you broke off a relationship, fell so deeply in
love only to find that you were pregnant from the previous relationship,
then got engaged to the first guy, (looking at the math) that tells
me that this all happened within a few months, if not weeks.
Happy with Oneself
Now, people can meet and fall in love and have great relationships
for years – in fact, my college roommate's parents married
on their second date and are still married, 37 years and 8 children
later. But that kind of thing happens only when you have two people
who are happy within themselves and are not LOOKING for love outside
of themselves.
Rebound
If you ran from one man's arms into the arms of another man without
giving yourself time to reflect, evaluate and prepare yourself for
another (better) relationship, you were what we call "on the
rebound". Everything looks good on the rebound, for real. And
anybody can be in love for a few short weeks.
Illusion of Love
To me, "in love" can be synonymous with "the illusion
of love." It's a term that says "everything about this
person is wonderful and he makes me feel great". Translated
it means: "He is not a real human being and he makes me feel
completed completely."
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Amen! You go, girl. |
Well, to break this down for you, the only entity that can do that
for you is God. And that's why you need to understand that you can
never find happiness in any other human being.
You can look, and look, and search the world all over but there
will not be one single man, woman, chick or child who can do that
for you. Everything that you need to be happy and fulfilled is already
within you!
Nothing Like an Old-Fashioned Family
So, to address your immediate question of whether or not to marry
your child's father: Ideally, that is the best relationship for
you and the child. Call me old-fashioned, but there is nothing like
a husband and a wife and their children living their living under
one roof and being a family.
I live it every day and have done so for almost 8 years now. If
that is what you want, then I think that you should try to work
first on yourself and then on the relationship with your child's
father. You don't have to be in a big rush to do that, either. If
the two of you are still working on things after the baby's birth,
that's fine.
Family Values
Without knowing why you left the first guy, I can't really comment
on him but I know that any guy who takes you back after he knows
you've been with another guy has got some kind of understanding
going on. If he is willing to commit to you and become one, he has
some sense of family values. That says a lot. Your actions also
speak a lot about you. You seem to be going back and forth looking
for love. Neither of those guys can give you that. True Love is
in you!
The Other Guy Can't Make You Happy
Now, for your future concern. This young man that you have fallen
so deeply in love with is, indeed, a human being. Much like your
fiancé was 3 years ago. And now that you have forsaken this
new relationship, you're hoping that you don't spend the rest of
your life saying,"But what if I could have been happier with
this guy? What if he would have loved me better?" Once again,
he is not capable of making you happy. It feels like love. It looks
like love. But that's not love. Only you can give yourself love.
To be frank with you, True Love, the sooner you learn that the
better off you and this baby will be. If you learn to love yourself,
you'll learn to love this baby and your significant other with a
love that won't ever die no matter what happens.
Be smart. Figure out what the heck is going on with you first.
Read books, read your Bible, pray and ask for guidance. You (like
most of us) already know the answers.
– Sistergirl
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