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Dear Panel,

I'm a very pretty & attractive woman. I have a  stable job & I just bought a car. I just cant seem to find a man though. I've never had a serious relationship, they don't last more than a month and I've been told that I'm a good person with qualities most men want. I recently meet a man of my dreams but, as with the other guys I get involved with, it only lasted for a month and he disappeared. What should I do? I'm at a stage where I feel I should throw in the towel and forget about men but I still

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want to get married and have kids some day!!

confused

Lefty Answers:

Dear Confused,

Hey, I know some people who never seem to get past the second date.  They would probably think you're lucky to last a whole month.  Unless, of course, you average 2 dates a month.

You matter-of-factly state that your relationships don't last more than a month yet you spend absolutely no time analyzing it here.  I'm sure you must have spent SOME time thinking about it.  Is the way you break up the same for every relationship?  Do you ever remain friends with the guys?  What are their reasons for dropping you?

It could simply be that they were the wrong guys.

  aliciaLtin.gifThere is obviously something going on, and you should take steps to find out what it is, either by asking friends who you trust to give you honest feedback, or forcing those guys to give you an exit interview.  Or maybe even visiting a non-partial therapist.

I do know what you mean by wanting to throw in the towel on relationships.

Hopefully it hurts less after only one month.

aliciaLtin.gif When a girlfriend dumps me, or it doesn't work out for any reason, I too feel disillusioned, disappointed, and dismayed.  How can we not, if we like someone and it doesn't work out--that's one of the risks we take in trying to get into a relationship. I know that relationships do work out for many of my friends.  I also know that I usually recover after awhile, thinking that I will not repeat my old mistakes in a new relationship.  After all, isn't that the point of surfing at Love And Learn?

There seem to be plenty of people suffering as we are.  You should contact Eric and see what's up with him!  So figure out what's wrong and get ready to take your next swing at the plate.

Lefty

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