Dear Confused,

I have a hard time understanding this kind of thing.  Maybe I'm missing out on a part of what's new in life by not participating more in chat rooms, virtual dating, and playing sex roles online. But I believe that it's not rewarding enough to spend my time on that stuff when I can go out real-time to a dance lesson and actually have a face-to-face – YES (and other parts) experience.

Yes.

AM I A FUDDYDUDDY?

Half-Fantasy, Half-Action

But I digress...playing sex roles online with other women is a gray area to me.  It's kind of fantasy and it's kind of acting out.

Not Role-Playing with You Is Bad

Maybe he just feels freer when he is anonymous.

Not role playing with you is a bad signal.  If both partners are into it, that kind of thing can be imaginative and fun.  And why wouldn't he be into it with you?  So I'm left with asking, how do you relate to your husband in other ways?  Are you good friends?  Do you spend quality time together?  Do you share other activities?  Do you respect each other?  Do you have a "healthy" sexual relationship?

If you feel good about these questions, then I wouldn't worry too much. Otherwise, there could be some problems starting, and I would advise spending time with your husband to figure it out.

– Lefty