Dear Hopelessly Waiting,

 Give him the ultimatum!

If she is going to give him an ultimatum, she should read my Ultimatum Rules first.

I get the sense from your letter that you are struggling to keep your relationship as well as move it forward. It is perfectly legitimate to be firm with your partner regarding your wishes and needs.

But would you want to be with someone that you had to threaten to be with you?

If being firm (as in giving an ultimatum) jeopardizes love or the whole relationship, then you probably don't have a very understanding or accepting partner - or a very strong relationship.

Long distance relationships are extremely hard to do. They are also quite comfortable for those people who don't wish to have serious, committed, monogamous relationships.

Cold Feet

There are lots of other reasons that he could be dragging his feet.

Could it be that your "boyfriend" has cold feet regarding a future with you? Since you didn't mention how often you've seen each other over the year-long relationship, it's hard to determine where it's foundation is. He seems hesitent to move it forward (not looking for a transfer or making moving plans etc.) and this is something you need to determine.

Take the direct approach and ask questions. If you trust his answers - go with your heart. If you doubt his answers - go with your head and move on. You never know - love may be just around the corner.

Take care.

Signed,
– Bo